Thundersnow

 "Oh the weather outside is frightful,
and work- not so delightful...
but at least Kenny is snowed in here too...
now stop the ice, stop the ice, stop the ice....

Oh the snow is being a b*tch -how?...
the truck is in the ditch now...
but at least you're stuck at work with me...
so stop whine, oh stop whine, whiiiiiinnnnniiiiing" 


If I'm stuck at work....at least I had to call a double staff in. Of course I'm short staffed so I called in Kenny.

He isn't as impressed with my song though :(

Learn to Inhale.

"It's understandable, he was a hard man to know. I mean he didn't believe in second chances, what's done is done. I don't buy that. We can change. We do change. We don't have to take our regrets to the grave like he did. We can be free of all of that. We don't die inhaling, we exhale, we leave it all behind." ~quote from the movie "Take Me Home"

 This was one of those quotes that made an entire movie worth it. 

Think about it for a moment.

As we live...we "take in".
We "Inhale"
We absorb. 

How much have I really been taking in lately? How many times could I have been inhaling the world around me, cherishing life more, and instead just sat at home in my pjs and played on the ps3?

Look at how many goals I have yet to accomplish....some goals that are time sensitive but instead, I'm not truly inhaling. I'm like that kid that wants to "be cool" and try a cigarette and then pretends to breathe it in because he doesn't really want to...he doesn't know what it'll taste like, smell like feel like...he's scared. I'm doing that. One of my big goals is about diet and weight loss because I have a personal goal of losing a certain amount of weight before I truly try to work on having children. The amount of excuses I make is ridiculous and the real reason isn't that I can't diet- because I can and I have before, successfully- it's the fear of the reason WHY. I mean, I guess I'm worried about what happens with my PCOS after I lose the weight, what if I can't get pregnant or what if it doesn't work out? For crying out loud, I'm not even done with my divorce and yet the conversation of having a child with my bf is a real one? I mean, sometimes I think I literally just scare myself. 

 I need to stop making excuses. I need to learn to breathe. I need to learn to inhale...to truly live. I need to live in a way where I won't have regrets...

 but yet, this ....these are just words.

WORDS.

Words get me no where. 

 

Happy VD

VD....as in Valentine's Day...not venereal disease. Seriously, what even sounds HAPPY about a disease?

I could write about how now I'm even more short staffed at work...or about the high stress of what's going on with my individuals....or about Kenny treating me to a steak dinner...or the frozen custard...you get the idea. Instead, I'm going to give you a WIDE variety of things I heard today.

 "Roni's my valentine, aint that right, Roni? I have a girlfriend but she isn't it. No one loves me like Roni"

"I should have used glitter. Girls love glitter. Now I'm going to get dumped because I didn't use glitter. Stupid! Stupid!"

"Stop being hilarious. Another one of my staff want to go to your house now."

"He's flipping out! He won't stop hitting the table!"

"He pulled the fire alarm- the only one that rings into the fire department."

"I saw a hot fireman thanks to your guy pulling that alarm. Happy Valentines to Me!"

"Where did you move the Jewish church? It was there yesterday. What did you do with it?"

"Shut up, he's not Jewish. He's a nacho and they killed the Jews" "Nachos kill people? But I love nachos" "Roni, can we buy Jewish nachos so they won't kill anyone?"

"Roni, I got a question. Can I ask you a question? Did you know that old people still have periods? I didn't know that but my Momma is old and she had a period."

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I should totally take snippets of my day all the time and see what kind of odd quote book I could create.

Anyway, it's been a good day overall. I really love my job, even when it's crazy stressful. I am really glad today that a NICE policeman was who told me that my brake lights were out too -instead of a ticket happy one.

I'm really glad I have Kenny. He made today nice...from knowing how to fix my lights...to not laughing (much) when his truck ripped my pants....to making fun of my singing Boys II Men....to the nice dinner....he's really a good boyfriend. I love him.

I'm A Survivor

I am a CONGENITAL HEART DISEASE survivor! I was born with 3 holes in my heart (2 ventricular septal defects and 1 atrial septal defect). I had a Pulmonary Artery Banding (a surgery that was ruled unsafe and no longer performed) at 6 WEEKS old and open heart surgery at 1 year old. February 7-14 is CHD Awareness week but I'm going to go most of February with this new profile pic and cover. Congenital Heart Defects affect 1 in 100 newborns- which translates to about 40,000 babies born each year! Let's spread awareness and never forget the babies that have been taken from us way too soon.

Embarkment

I don't have anything especially interesting to say but maybe I'll get my knack for blogging back by starting this.

An intro:

I'm 28 and living in Missouri. I seem stuck here. I work as a program supervisor for the department of community living for a company called ACT (Alternative Community Training)...all of that is fancy-schmancy talk for I manage a home with three individuals with developmental disabilities. It's an adventure. I have this odd attraction to "behavior" prone individuals. I simply do not understand why. I am a biology major and wanting an emphasis in wildlife conservation and yet somehow, I keep ending up in the health field and working with high negative and aggressive behaviors. Maybe someday I'll stop being bullheaded and just go into a major more related to social work.

I live with my boyfriend, Kenny. He's a young one at 19. It's a stark difference since my husband is 7 years my senior. Did I forget to mention that I have a husband? The divorce has been slow and barely moving most of the time. He doesn't fund it and frankly, I try not to even let it cross my mind. Now, I know, you're probably thinking "goodness lady, pay the money and get it over with"...but between trying to live in an overpriced apartment, having a lot of trial and errors with figuring out finances with Kenny and trying to pay off old college loans so I can go back...somehow, I keep pushing the divorce on the back burner. Maybe it's my way to not think about it...who knows?

I have 3 cats and 1 dog.
My cat, Howard, lives with my parents.

 My dog, Shadow, also lives there. This apartment is not dog friendly so my pomeranian couldn't come here. He and Howard are close so it made sense to keep them together for now. I miss them both terribly :(

Kenny and I have two kittens, Hunter and Alphonse. Hunter is predominantly mine and his favorite hobby is to "hunt" and attack anything that moves -including Alphonse's face. Alphonse is just plain ornery.

Kenny and I are definitely an oddball mix but it's a beaut. I'm actually happy though and that's very important.

I'd tell you what I'd put in this blog but I haven't yet decided. Maybe it'll be rants...maybe stories about Kenny and I....or random quotes....who knows....but let the embarkment commence.